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[Music] how to get laid part one do you suck with women are you a virgin or totally inexperienced with women do hot women intimidate you do you fear approaching women do you not understand how women work and what they want are you shy insecure a loner or socially awkward are you deeply introverted do you hate socializing do you believe that no attractive woman would ever sleep with you if any of these apply to you then this multi-part series on how to get laid is exactly what you're going to need this is going to be a no [ __ ] highly practical guide of field tested advice not just theory but what it really takes to turn this situation around for you in your life because i've been where you've been and i've faced those challenges and i've overcome these challenges to a large degree and so i can help guide you into what it really takes to do this this guide is not going to be some magic pill solution or some sort of cheesy pickup line that you use this is the deep changes that you need to make to yourself into your lifestyle in order to turn yourself into an attractive man and to get the kind of results that you uh would be happy with when it comes to dating this guide is of course for straight heterosexual men who are interested in attracting beautiful women i'm assuming that uh if you're looking for some sort of other kind of advice then i don't have experience in that i'm going to be talking about the sort of heterosexual masculine feminine polarity perspective that's what i have experience with so what is my experience and qualifications for giving you this advice well actually quite a bit because as i've said i've struggled with this a lot in my life and the reason i struggled with it is because i'm a very intellectual person i'm deeply deeply introverted and so for me one of my greatest weaknesses in life has been the socializing aspect uh being social um doing a lot of small talk being in extroverted situations being in bars and clubs like these sorts of environments i didn't even go to a bar or a club for until i was like 26 years old uh because i had no interest in that kind of stuff like that aspect of my life um in a sense i put that on hold because i was very focused on my life purpose i was very focused on philosophy i was very focused on my career and on business for the first 25 years of my life to the point where i deliberately decided not to go into dating into socializing that sort of stuff because to me it's a giant waste of time but of course the problem with that is is that when you're neglecting that social domain of your life then it's very difficult for you to get laid and it's also very difficult for you to develop the skills you need to get laid so we'll be talking about that a lot more but anyways so what happened with me is that after i was successful with my life purpose and my business and my career and my finances and all that and i felt good about all that and also my education i got all that down then i felt like okay now it's time to handle this social aspect of my life the dating and romantic aspect of my life and so i delved into pickup for a few years i did thousands of approaches and i basically started the process from ground zero so that's what's so interesting about my perspective versus other people because like a lot of dating coaches that you can find on youtube and so forth uh first of all a lot of them are very extroverted naturally that's their personality type uh they're not logical and they're not very intellectual to begin with so that makes it a lot easier a lot easier to get laid when you're not super logical um like for example i i studied engineering i was very into math and science so like very very heady logical type of stuff you know programming a lot of you guys who are programmers or engineers or maybe doctors are facing this sort of problem where like you were so career focused that you neglected the social aspects um of your life and so anyways uh i went on a multi-year journey i actually stopped work for about a year to focus exclusively on this aspect of my life uh basically learning pickup learning how to talk to girls learning how to socialize i traveled around the country to different cities did various kinds of 30-day challenges i did 2000 to 3000 approaches cold approaches i've hung out with winged with and gotten coaching from some of the best guys in the world guys who have slept with hundreds of girls guys who are able to pull girls like every other day um i've been in some of the best nightclubs in the world and i've had some uh success now of course i don't claim to be some sort of master at attracting women in fact i would consider myself sort of at an intermediate level my game is it's decent it's not that consistent i could make it a lot better i could make it a lot more consistent if i really wanted to the problem though was that i'm still very focused on other aspects of my life i'm more interested in spirituality honestly i'm more interested in psychedelics i'm more interested in my life purpose i'm more interested in art than i am in uh in really attraction uh but at the same time like i've spent thousands of hours doing cold approach and i've spent thousands of hours studying the theory behind it in fact the reason that i first got into pickup was i was more interested in the psychology behind it understanding how it actually works more so than i was actually going and talking to girls or getting sex i didn't get into it for the sex although of course that's a nice a nice bonus but you know for me it was about the understanding and in fact that's how i got so interested in self-help and ultimately self-actualization ultimately discovering spirituality is through this sort of this avenue of pickup and so i'm going to be sharing some of my experiences and stories about this as we keep going but anyways those are my qualifications i've paid for boot camps i've studied pickup theory very well i have a very deep understanding of like the the theoretical foundations of game and also what it takes to actually start getting results i've spent a lot of time studying the differences between guys who get massive results and those who don't and what they do and what they don't do so that's where i'm coming from now i could share lots and lots and lots of crazy stories with you that i've had in my pickup journey i mean like obnoxious graphic scandalous things that i have experienced that my friends have experienced like crazy stuff stuff that probably shouldn't even be talked about in public or on youtube maybe in the future i'll release that episode i don't know um i still have to think about you know how that's going to be perceived but like crazy [ __ ] has has happened and i that i've experienced that have completely uh changed my understanding of sexuality and how women work how men work because you have to understand that a lot of these aspects about how to get sex how to get laid um these come with a social stigma and so in mainstream culture it's not polite to talk about these things there's a taboo about it because people get jealous because people get very protective of their sexual partners and who's dating whom like humans love to gossip about this stuff and humans love to hide who they're having sex with how many times they've had sex how they get sex i mean there's a lot of like shady stuff that goes on and i'm not just talking about pickup here i'm talking about just sex in general right there are many myths and fairy tales about how sex actually works and what's nice about cold approach is that when you do a lot of cold approach you learn the the true mechanics behind all the myths and the fairy tales so i'll be sharing some of those with you now a warning here some of this stuff can be graphic some of this stuff can be offensive and some of this stuff can be uh triggering and the reason that is is because people are very protective of sexual value because it's central to our survival right and everyone in a certain sense is scheming and manipulating to increase the sexual value that they get from their potential partners and mates women are doing this men are doing this now a lot of men and women both lie about how they do that a lot of them are unconscious about how they're doing that they're playing games but they're not even conscious that they're playing games and so to bring some of these truths to the surface and to make them explicit and conscious can be very controversial and so just uh you know a trigger warning some of the things i say here you might might not like how it sounds or it might seem obnoxious to you it might sound misogynistic to you so if uh if if you're kind of squeamish about that stuff then don't watch now i've struggled with this aspect of my life for a long time because i was very introverted and so basically what had to happen for me to start getting decent results with women is i started to have to rewire how my entire mind operated in the social domain how i thought about socializing developing a sense of humor and various other aspects of me had to change in order to start getting success and results so deep interchange had to happen it wasn't just a couple of pickup lines that i learned now you might wonder well leo but why cover this topic at all this is so unspiritual of you aren't you supposed to be above this isn't this beneath you isn't it just some sort of like click baity uh video series that's supposed to like lure desperate guys in actually not at all because you see as we've talked about in the past there is a hierarchy of needs maslow's hierarchy of needs that exists for for humans and basically for the human mind to evolve towards caring about higher spiritual truths and metaphysical stuff and you know things like god and love and consciousness and meditation yoga to care about these things psychedelics to even start to care about these things one first usually has to meet their deficiency needs you need shelter you need security you need some financial stability and yes you need to satisfy some of your basic sexual cravings and cravings for intimacy because if you don't get that part of your life handled the rest of it is going to be in one ear and out the other and if there are ladies watching this and wondering you know leah why are you talking about this stuff i don't think you ladies quite appreciate what it's like to be a guy in his 20s and 30s unable to get laid just like for you ladies it's not the same thing for a guy who's not able to get laid for years this becomes an enormous problem more so than it is for women for women the act of getting laid is actually pretty easy you can just go to a bar or club guys will hit on you you pick which one you like and it'll happen you don't have to really work hard for it for guys it's quite different we have to be proactive we have to take initiative on this stuff and also sex for us guys is more important than it is for you women and it's more difficult for us to procure it um especially if we start from a from a very kind of like ground zero position where we're socially dysfunctional or clueless and so forth and so there's millions of guys desperate guys who are very thirsty very needy who have not had sex or might be virgins or whatever and these guys need a healthy solution they need a healthy way to resolve this situation their life this the situation is not just going to solve themselves itself you can't just tell this kind of guy like oh yeah just be yourself be cool and you'll get laid no it's not going to work these guys need a whole lifestyle change they need a makeover both externally and more importantly even internally there are certain mindsets that they have there are a lot of toxic ideologies that are popular right now um like the in cell ideology the red pill ideology the black palladium this is very very toxic stuff so what happens what you need to understand ladies is that if men are not taught how to be successful with women in a cool responsible way and how to meet their sexual needs responsibly then it's not like they're just going to sit around and enjoy their life playing their video games and doing whatever else spirituality and stuff and just be cool with it they're not going to be cool with it they're going to be deeply frustrated they're not going to be able to really learn spirituality because they have this thorn in their side which is dominating their psyche and it's actually going to start to if if they ignore that it's going to become harder and harder as they age they're going to become more bitter more resentful they're going to subscribe to these very kind of toxic ideologies which will become very dysfunctional and these guys even if they do get lucky once in a while and get a girlfriend or something they're gonna be bitter resentful very jealous very creepy very socially awkward and those relationships are gonna be bad for the guy and for the girl for you ladies and even they're gonna be uh more widespread societal and political consequences to this kind of thing and right now because we are in the internet age where everybody is online everybody is playing video games and all this sort of stuff and we're not socializing face to face the way that our ancestors did for hundreds of thousands of years um this is making us making sort of our social skills atrophy that muscle is atrophying and guys are really struggling with this issue by the millions and so uh i think that actually showing guys a healthy way how to of how to meet these needs for themselves is imperative for the health of society and if we don't do this this will lead to bad things it'll lead to rape it'll lead to molestation it'll lead to abuse it'll lead to toxic fascistic political movements it'll lead to cults and radical ideologies and um and it's going to lead to suicides many suicides and many mass shootings they've already been happening in the news you've seen some of them and so actually this is a very important topic and i feel like this talking about this topic can literally save lives which is why i want to talk about it and because i have experience in this so uh yeah it's just guys are either going to pursue sex in a healthy way or in an unhealthy way there is really no third option where they don't pursue sex at all and they're just great guys that's that's not that's not in the cards that's not gonna happen all right so now let's get to the meat of the topic you want to get laid of course so let's think about this very practically we can count almost on one hand all the ways that you can get laid so let's do that and let's talk about the pros and cons of the different approaches so first there's cold approach or pickup we'll get back to that then there's social circle that's the other way most people probably get laid through social circle then there's your work then there is celebrity and status then there is online game through various apps and websites and then the sixth method would be using money and basically stuff like prostitution and so forth all right so that's that's basically it there's not that many different ways to get laid so let's cover the pros and cons of all these so first we have cold approach cold approach is basically a pro approaching a stranger that you don't know a girl that has never met you before striking up some sort of conversation in a flirty way and then getting phone numbers getting dates and getting her into your bed so there's that approach you can do it during the daytime you can do it during the night time you can do it at malls you can do it on on the street you can do it at cafes you can do it at bars you can do it at clubs and basically wherever there are attractive women this is the approach that i'm going to be mostly talking about and the reason is because that's the approach that i've have the most experience with and also in a certain sense this is the most hardcore the most direct approach if you really want to understand the mechanics of attracting women and you really want to build up that skill set this is the most direct way to do that and you do it by approaching thousands and thousands of women failing many many times but also learning and then getting better and better and better and this is how you really learn amazing game in a certain sense it's one of the most flexible approaches here because it works all around the world uh it works in every major city it works regardless of language or culture pretty much there are some variations you know if you're in the middle east and saudi arabia maybe it doesn't work as well um but hey even in the middle east they have night clubs and so forth um but for the most part it works around most of the world and all you really need to do to make this approach work is to move to a large city you do need a large city that's one of the downsides if you live in a small town with a thousand people then a cold approach is not going to work very well for you so you need you do need to move to a large city that has millions of people in it uh but as long as you've got that and there's a decent nightlife in your city or a decent day game opportunities in your city with cafes and streets and stuff like that then you've got a lot of practicing opportunities and what's great about this approach perhaps the best thing about this approach is that you can you can completely suck have z absolutely zero skills the way that i did when i started and you can learn and it doesn't matter if you're failing because you have so many opportunities and there's so much volume that's what's so amazing about this approach is that the volume you're not in scarcity you can be in abundance because even if you screw up one interaction with one girl there's going to be another interaction with the next girl in five minutes or in an hour and so it's okay so there's cold approach uh the other the other thing about cold approach is that you can get a lot of lays from cold approach i know guys who have triple digit lay counts from cold approach uh who have developed such consistent game that they can pull every other night it's pretty amazing what can be done there um the next option is social circle social circle is how most people get laid this is just from their social circle of friends um but the downside with this is that first of all social circle is more geared towards extroverts in the sense that to run a social circle you need to be a social person and you got to be like constantly following up with that and it takes quite a bit of work to do social circle because you got to be texting your friends all the time arranging dinner parties arranging after parties arranging outings to bars into clubs and like doing all that sort of stuff and schmoozing and kind of being very indirect so social circle is more indirect you're building a circle of friends and you're only going to be sleeping with a small percentage of the people in your social circle and the one of the problems with with social circle is that you have to be very social you have to enjoy doing that kind of stuff it takes a lot of maintenance uh one of the downsides is that if you move cities then you're going to lose your whole social circle that's a huge downside and you might have to move for work or just because you want to change the city that you're living in so social circle can really tie you down with cold approach you can move to a different city and you're going to be getting great results the very next night you go out you can move to a new city you can even travel around the world to different cities every week and you can be getting great results if your game is good enough no matter what city you travel to you can't do that with social circle it's very geographic uh also a social circle to truly have the kind of abundance and quality of women and dating partners that you would probably want to have if you have high standards like i do is that you would need a very massive social circle of hundreds of people and so just think about the work it takes to manage that and that's not just something you'd you can kind of like turn on and turn off with cold approach for example you can go this weekend do some cold approach and then let's say you get a girlfriend and then you can just stop doing cold approach for a few years with until you lose your girlfriend then you come back come can come back now of course your skills will be rusty but still you can kind of turn it on and off with social circle you can't do that it takes a a long time to build up a social circle and then you have to maintain it because if you stop maintaining it then your friends will float off and do other things you'll lose your social circle and then you'll have to build it all back up again um there is one huge advantage to social circle which is that actually if you want the most attractive women as they say the nines and tens um then it's actually going to be quite challenging to get those from cold approach you can get it from cold approach but realistically what you have to understand about the most attractive women if your standards are really really high and you want to date a 10 this girl these girls are so attractive that literally they can make an entire career simply from their beauty these girls are usually models or strippers or um actresses or in other kinds of positions where like for example guys will give them free travel free vacations free tables at the best clubs free drinks free adventures free camping trips free restaurant you know trips and all this sorts of stuff because these women are very rare they're very attractive and the guys with the most money and the most status are chasing after these women and so if you want to attract this kind of woman realistically it's not enough just to do a cold approach on her because when you're doing a cold approach all you're basically offering her in terms of value is your self the opportunity to date you you're not offering her anything more this can work for less attractive girls who are single it doesn't tend to work so well on the nines and tens because the nines and tens they get hit on all the time these girls are so attractive they get hit on like 20 times a week so there's a lot of competition for these girls so it's not enough just to offer the opportunity to date you you have to offer status you have to offer value you have to offer social value and these girls are usually very social and so one of the best ways to attract these girls is to build us a giant circle of attractive women mostly women in fact more than men and then bring in new attractive women into the social circle and really you're bringing them in not to have sex with you you're bringing them into the social circle to be part of the value of your social circle and then from there since you're the leader of your social circle of course the most attractive women will naturally gravitate towards you as the leader because they're attracted to status we'll get to that in a minute about what women are really attracted to because there's a lot of misconceptions about that i'll give you a whole list here but anyways yeah so so in that sense when you're the center of your social circle um you're offering these beautiful women a lot of social value and you're placing yourself at the center of everything as a leader and so that's a very reliable way to attract these women but that takes quite a bit of work now of course cold approach also takes a lot of work and so one of the downsides of cold approach that i forgot to mention is that it takes a massive amount of practice it's extremely challenging the the learning curve on cold approach is very very steep and brutal to the point where most guys can't handle it it's very emotionally difficult that's probably the biggest downside for most guys is that they just can't handle the brutal learning curve another element here of social circle is throwing parties so you can actually sort of position yourself to be a guy who throws parties let's say once a month these big parties uh and you using your social circle and new people that you meet all the time that you network with you invite more and more people to your parties and then at these parties again you're the leader of this party people are having fun there it's private parties and so there it becomes very easy for you to get laid from that i consider that part of social circle but like you can have like low levels of social social circle and then you can have like elite levels of social circle where you're putting a lot of energy and even money perhaps into throwing these parties and get a lot of women coming there and then from that you can get incredible results but i personally don't have a lot of experience in that and i'm not so interested in doing that honestly because i don't like playing social games that much like i said i'm introverted i have other interests so i'm not going to be spending most of my time you know building out a social circle and planning all this sort of stuff to me it's just it's i prefer a more direct approach but for those of you who do like that kind of stuff consider that option and then you can find others from whom to learn how to do that the next option for getting laid is through work in fact i think a lot of people get laid through work the problem though is it can be very risky and dangerous and limited to get laid through work it really very much depends on the kind of work you have the problem is that a lot of us have work where we're working from home or working in a cubicle or working in a very male dominated company where you're not going to get laid and there's not very attractive women anyways like if you're a programmer or an engineer the chances of you getting laid from your work are very low on the other hand there are certain kinds of work where you can get laid a lot for example there was a one guy i was talking to on my forum and we were talking about cold approach and he said oh leo i don't need cold approach i get laid hundreds of times anyways i'm like well how the hell do you do that and he says well i work at a women's shoe store and then i just talk to all my women customers who are cute and then i just get their numbers and in this way i've had sex with hundreds of them and i'm like well yeah of course because in in essence if you have that kind of job where you're looking at a you're you're working at a high volume women's shoe store you're effectively being paid to do pickup eight hours a day five times uh five days a week that's essentially what that guy had going and so yeah of course he slept with hundreds of women that way the problem though is that that's a very specific kind of work most jobs aren't like that there are some jobs that do allow you to network with lots of people maybe even women especially if you can get that kind of job then great i mean like bartenders for example bouncers club promoters if you're doing large public speaking events if you're doing seminars if you're doing business conferences and networking events where you're talking to hundreds of people yeah that that can be a pretty decent way to get laid um but most work is not like that and the problem here is that it's not you're not going to like change your whole career just to get laid for example if you're a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant or a science researcher or an engineer or a programmer you're not going to quit your your entire line of work just to go get laid working at some usually low-wage job for example at a shoe store right so that doesn't work so well or you're not going to become a bartender it's not worth it you need some other strategy and the other problem with work is that of course it's risky with work because you're mixing work with sex now this can get very problematic and you know now with the me too movement and so forth you have to be very careful about not abusing your position of power at work for example if you're a boss you can't just be hitting on your female employees this is not going to go well for you uh and i don't recommend that as a dating strategy it's it's a terrible dating strategy it's also an abuse of power um you know if you're hitting on your customers that can also backfire if you're hitting on your clients that can backfire so see this is very tricky and problematic and then what happens if you're dating somebody from your work or at your work and then your relationship breaks up as they usually do and then what happens there might be a lot of sour feelings it might get very weird and awkward you still have to work with with this woman or maybe she's an important client of yours and then it just it gets very messy very quickly and so usually it's not good to mix work with sex and with your romantic life um uh but but still a lot of people just meet their husbands and wives through through work so that's an option it's not a very good option in my opinion the next option is actually the best option which is status and celebrity status and celebrity is the ultimate way to get laid the ultimate way the problem of course with it is is that you need to be a a real serious celebrity you need to have serious status in order for this to work and so the problem is that just very few people will actually have that level of status and celebrity necessary in order to get laid easily and i've actually had a little bit of experience in this field as well sometimes people say well leo you're this famous youtube or you've got a million subscribers so surely you get laid simply from your celebrity but what you have to understand is that you guys know me and like my work but my work is very narrow and niche and it's very nerdy and it's very technical and so the bottom line is that actually very few people recognize me or know me sometimes i get recognized on the street but it's not enough to make a strategy for getting laid not to mention that i'm very careful about not abusing my position of power and whatever celebrity or status that i do have i have to be very careful especially because i teach spirituality i teach higher consciousness things i have to be very very careful not to abuse that i certainly could do that if i really wanted to push that but i deliberately again don't want to mix my work with romance and with dating with sex too much because that can also again backfire and create all sorts of problems ethical problems integrity problems and so forth so i have to be very careful about that but honestly to be honest with you um while you might think that i'm some sort of big celebrity i'm not my celebrity status is basically a zero right um when i'm talking to a girl she usually doesn't give a [ __ ] what i do or the fact that i created actualized work it usually doesn't matter to her now if she's a fan of mine okay maybe it does but see i have to be very careful about dating fans that can also be very toxic and problematic and create ethics problems um but the bottom line is that even the celebrity status that i have it's really not enough to to create a solid strategy for getting laid occasionally maybe once every couple of years i could get laid simply from my celebrity status but that's that's not enough to to really um create a good dating life for me it doesn't give me enough options it doesn't give me enough abundance it doesn't give me the kind of quality of women that i want and so forth um now if i was a real celebrity like a hollywood actor in movies or a dj or a musician or a really famous author or you know somebody who's really really well known yeah now that can work if i was a comedian doing giant you know events with thousands of people watching me yeah that could easily work and that is the easiest way to get laid that's why rock stars are some of the most laid people on the planet and they do the least work to get it what's also nice about this is that if you're you can kind of kill two birds with one stone here because you're combining your life purpose perhaps with um your dating strategy in such a way that just by for example being a great artist or a great musician or a great dj or a great actor or whatever you're doing that and while you're doing that at the same time you're creating dating opportunities for yourself because you're building your status and your celebrity that's really really efficient a very efficient use of your time because you don't have to do two separate things um but again the problem is are you a celebrity do you have more status than i do because you would have to in order to get laid effectively and to be satisfied with your dating life because i'm telling you even a million youtube subscribers is not going to be enough to really um create a viable dating strategy out of that so if if you want i mean i encourage you guys like those of you who are really serious go for it build your status become a real celebrity by doing something big in the world um become a great entrepreneur become a famous author become a famous musician or artist become a famous youtuber whatever um you know blow up become big and then you won't have a problem getting laid but now you know that's probably going to take you five 10 20 years to achieve that what are you going to do in the meantime how are you going to get laid in the meantime you see the problem so by all means pursue that if you want but how many of you are going to actually achieve that very few therefore i'm not going to really cover this strategy and also you still have to be careful as a celebrity you have to be careful especially now in the metoo era if you're going to be hitting on your fans and uh and and playing that kind of game that can also be unethical and that can also create uh sort of abuses of power you can definitely abuse your status and your celebrity to prey on your fans i would uh discourage you from just treating that flippantly that's that's something you have to be very very careful and ethical about otherwise it'll go horribly wrong for you as it has for certain celebrities the next strategy is online game so this is tinder okcupidmatch.com and other websites and apps like this i've i've researched this quite a bit i've experimented almost scientifically with this method as well so what i've discovered about online game is that basically there is no online game online game boils down to your photos and your looks so it's very much like a pyramid scheme the whole online game system because see online game is designed for people who are extremely lazy who don't want to do any work who just want to click a few buttons and get laid and since everybody is lazy everybody goes to online game they want an easy solution to this problem and and there it doesn't matter what you write in your profile picture or in your profile description it doesn't really matter what kind of messages clever messages you send to girls they're judging you on your photos and on your looks fundamentally and i've actually split tested this a b tested this to to confirm for myself this is absolutely true if you want you can create fake profile accounts on these websites and actually split test using different photographs from different fake people and you will see that looks is 90 of online game it doesn't matter what you write and so there's no way you're going to trick beautiful women to sleeping with you if you don't have the kind of classic handsome masculine looks that are required i would say that if you're not in the top 20 of physical appearance in terms of guys then you're not going to have great results with online game it's going to be very frustrating you're going to waste a lot of time you're going to get depressed and miserable basically the way online game is designed like it's like a pyramid scheme that is designed to funnel money from the siphon money basically from the bottom 80 percent of guys the dating app will suck up all their money um they will hardly get any quality matches and then all the all the matches will basically go to the top 20 of handsome looking guys and um and then those few matches that the the bottom eighty percent get they will be very low quality girls not the kind of girls that you would want to seriously date or have a um serious relationship with and so online dating especially if you have high quality standards the way that i do online gaining for example for me it just it doesn't work it's not effective at all and for most guys i think it's not going to be effective for some of you it will so feel free to try it if you're in the in the top you know 30 percent let's say of guys in terms of physical appearance feel free to try it you might get some decent results um but still you're not going to be pulling nines and tens from online game that's not going to happen so uh just keep that in mind and it is possible to waste a lot of time on that put a lot of hope into it and then it's not going to work basically online game is designed for suckers who are too lazy to actually go and socialize and meet women face to face because that's risky that's scary that's difficult so you know if you want something easy then expect to be fleeced for that and to pay a cost for that and then the final option is with money if you have tons and tons of money of course you can use money to find gold digger women you can you could buy prostitutes and escorts you could you could even set up a strategy where you're paying women for example if you want to do like a porn to actually do porn you can be in porn like there's these sorts of options but this is like the probably the worst option for getting laid because what you really want is not just to get laid but you want uh deep intimacy with a woman you want her to love you for you you want her to be genuinely attracted to you and money is not going to do that prostitution's not going to do that porn is not going to do that so i i recommend you just forget about that strategy entirely and that's about it i mean what other ways are there to get laid if there are other ways by post a comment down below let me know but these are most of the ways for how people get laid so now we're going to be moving on um i'm going to be teaching you about cold approach especially in part two of this multi-part series um i'm gonna be giving you all the tricks and techniques and all the outer game all the mechanics that i've learned um but before we get into that first we need to tackle the the foundation we got to talk about some of the mindsets some of the limiting beliefs that you have some of the bad inner game that you have some of the misconceptions that you have we have to talk about what it's really going to take for you to get good with women because if i just give you the techniques they're not going to get you laid the techniques only work when you have the right mindset and then you have a larger framework within which those techniques are are placed so be patient here we have to build up to it now there's a huge misconception about pickup or cold approach which we need to clear up in mainstream culture there is this sort of straw man version of what pickup is which is that it's a bunch of corny fake pickup lines that you use on women to trick them to sleep with you that's not really what pickup is that's a very silly childish version of pickup it's extremely ineffective and actually you won't get laid from that you're not going to get laid from any pickup line i'm not going to be teaching you any pickup lines here instead what i'm going to be talking about is developing genuine attraction by turning yourself into a high value genuinely attractive man not by tricking any woman but by actually genuinely transforming yourself into a man that most women would find extraordinarily attractive relative to other guys who have not done this work there's also a sort of a misconception or perception of pickup as being very creepy and what i would say about this is that uh as creepy as pickup might seem to you you know what's really creepy truly creepy is guys who have no game they're the most creepiest guys who are in cells guys who are totally inexperienced guys who have never approached a girl guys who have never learned the theory of attraction guys who have not had a lot of deep experience these are the creepiest kind of guys these are the most socially awkward kind of guys and for you ladies who might be thinking like well leo isn't it unethical to teach guys how to manipulate women into sleeping with them that's that's one way to look at it but another way to look at it is i'm not going to be teaching guys how to manipulate you girls into sleeping with them i'm going to be teaching the guy how to actually transform himself to be somebody who you would actually consider like high quality boyfriend material or husband material and somebody who would actually make you wet somebody who actually is good in the bedroom somebody who has a sense of humor somebody who's playful and fun and emotional rather than just some logical boring nerd who you don't want to [ __ ] so we have to make a distinction here between fake signals of attraction versus genuine attraction i want to teach genuine attraction not some sort of gimmick and this is going to require some serious personal development and this is what ties this topic in with all the other topics that i teach because see i'm not going to be just teaching guys how to get into a woman's pants i want to teach guys how to become more confident stronger better leaders and men how to get in touch with their masculinity how to develop a sense of humor how to be highly social in a genuine way not using some sort of pickup lines and then that guy will also go on to do personal development to self-actualize to follow his life purpose to develop a career to develop financial stability to develop emotional mastery and other skills like that to meditate and to do spiritual work and do psychedelics and to achieve awakening right so we want to combine both of those things such that we're taking aspects of that sort of classic alpha player stereotype a lot of whom those guys are rather scummy and don't have much to offer to women other just than just pure raw um you know sexual charisma we want to take that sexual charisma and combine it with the sort of solid qualities of the provider guy the guy who you would actually want to marry or make your long-term boyfriend the guy who actually has a stable career and other great things going for him who's psychologically stable who's not going to you know abuse you or manipulate you who's not a narcissist and so forth whose interpersonal development who's into spiritual development combine those two together and that in a certain sense creates the ideal man and you ladies you know how hard it is to find the ideal man who has both of these qualities either you tend to sleep with players and [ __ ] boys who don't offer you anything more than just sex and won't commit to you or you sleep with the sort of needy uh nerdy committed provider guys but then they don't make you physically aroused and emotionally uh stimulated the way that these narcissistic players do and so um for you ladies it's difficult for you to find something in the middle and so well the reason that is because that something in the middle has to be developed you're not just born with it you have to develop it thousands of hours of work have to go into developing it a lot of theory and then a lot of practice so i'm i'm i'm very excited about teaching the theory of this because this is ultimately what we need we need strong men society needs strong men and what is a strong male is uh is getting lost these days there's a lot of toxic masculinity that is being taught to men these days which is not really what it means to be a strong man being a strong man also means being deeply loving being able to commit being able to do deep intimacy in relationships and so for you ladies you might be wondering like well leo why are you just talking about getting laid why aren't you talking about relationships and teaching us how men how to do that well i will i'll have episodes in the future that just focus exclusively on long-term relationships and building deep intimacy and communication skills we'll talk about all that stuff conscious relationships that's an amazing topic and i'm very passionate about that as well but the reality is is that for guys there cannot be an intimate deep long-term relationship until he can first get laid and it's not even enough to get laid you have to also be able to keep that girl around because you can sleep with an attractive girl and you'll lose her because the guy is ungrounded he's not confident enough he's insecure a lot of guys have just deep insecurity about themselves because of their physical appearances or other problems that they faced in their life and that insecurity is is going to toxify the relationship and there is no relationship until the girl is attracted and she has sex so we have to start at the beginning and all and most guys think about this problem in terms of how to get laid rather than in terms of how to get a relationship so for you ladies for example for you getting laid is not a problem for you finding the guy who will commit to you in his high quality that's the problem for guys it's the opposite for guys the problem is not so much a long-term relationship for guys the problem is how to get laid to be honest a lot of a lot of guys also face problems with being intimate and um and committing to long-term relationships we'll talk about that in a separate episode all right so now let's talk about perhaps the most important lesson from this whole episode which is i'm going to give you a list of the top reasons why you're not getting laid as a guy and let's begin with reason number one the most important thing can you guess what it is what do you think it is this is pretty counter-intuitive but also at the same time very obvious once you hear it what is the number one reason why you're not getting laid it's not what you think the number one reason why you're not getting laid is because you're not being social enough that's it that's truly the answer a lot of guys think oh i'm not getting laid because i'm not tall enough or i don't have a big enough jaw or i don't have facial hair or because i'm bald or because my dick is not big enough or because i don't have enough money no it's not that the number one reason you're not getting laid is because you're not social enough it's impossible to get laid unless you are social that's the bottom line this is the entire foundation of game all the tricks and techniques in the world are not going to help you if you are not social enough and what i mean by being social enough is that you need to be coming into contact with new attractive women on a weekly monthly basis in a relatively large quantity new ones so let's try this get a piece of paper and i want you to write down a number this number is approximately how many new attractive women have you come into contact with face to face in the last month write down a number how many what i want you to understand is that this number is the key to you getting laid this number is the problem for most of you guys this number is zero and that explains why you're not getting laid and if it's not zero then it's some sort of single digit number like five or nine that's not enough for you to get laid so the number one thing you can do to get laid is not some clever pickup line and it's not to get plastic surgery or a hair transplant or whatever the number one way for you to get laid is to increase this number from a single digit number to a triple digit number that's it this is the foundation of all game if you don't do this you're not nothing else will help you and if you do do this everything else will be a nice bonus but it won't even be necessary if you were meeting 200 new attractive women every month at least a few of them would start to flirt with you themselves and that would lead to dates and more just it would spontaneously happen but see if you're living a very anti-social lifestyle where you're on the internet all the time and you're playing video games and you're not going out then you simply aren't meeting new attractive women very often and therefore it's impossible for you to get laid so the number two reason why you're not getting laid is because you're not going out you're playing too many video games and you're spending way too much time online on your computer or in your cubicle working or in your office working rather than being social you need to be social you have to understand that humans we come from a deep lineage of socializing face to face with each other in our tribal ancestral times we would go and hunt together or we would go pick and gather berries together and do a little bit of work but then we would come back and at night we would all have a party around the campfire and we would have a feast and we would dance and we would pray and we would have fun with each other and we would drink alcohol and take mushrooms and this sort of stuff and it was a very social face-to-face kind of environment and in that environment it's easy to get laid you don't need a lot of game to get laid in that environment but today when you're playing hundreds of hours of online games every week and every month then yeah you're not getting laid that's the problem so what is the solution to this problem the solution here fundamentally is to change your lifestyle you see there's no pickup line that's going to help you here you have to change your lifestyle you have to realize that wait a minute i've been living for the last decade a very anti-social cloistered lifestyle and now i need to do something to change that otherwise i'm never going to get laid i'm going to stay a virgin forever i'm going to suffer from this forever so you need to reach a pain point where the pain of maintaining your deeply introverted isolated lifestyle virtual lifestyle that that is more painful than the pain of going out there and starting to socialize and changing your lifestyle the third reason why you're not getting laid is that you're not approaching even if you're coming into contact with attractive new women you're not approaching the fourth reason you're not getting laid is you have no flirting skills and you're way too logical with women you're not communicating with them in a romantic manner you're communicating with them in a friendly business manner and that makes it very difficult for you get laid and that's why you get friend-zoned the fifth reason you're not getting laid is that you don't understand what attracts women this is a deep problem which we're going to correct in this episode i'll give you a list here in a minute the next reason you're not getting laid is because you have a deep victim complex you have many limiting beliefs and excuses and deep insecurity about yourself you doubt yourself about your ability to get laid you believe it's impossible and you have many beliefs like this for why you think attractive women wouldn't sleep with you and so correcting that victim mindset that that's the inner game is very important no techniques will help you so long as you have this kind of victim mindset and it's going to be impossible for you even to go out and to start socializing into approaching women if you have this kind of victim mindset because what's the point leo why would i approach women when i already know that they're going to reject me and they're not going to sleep with me you see it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and the final reason why you're not getting laid is you're not willing to work hard to grow yourself into the kind of man that women would find attractive you're so entitled you believe that hot women should just come to you naturally and like you as you are the slob the juvenile immature boy that you are sitting there playing video games in your mother's basement um this slob you think women should just like you for being that way no if you want attractive women you're gonna have to work for them so what i recommend is that you stop looking for easy solutions like some pickup line or some new online app or some online dating protocol that will get you all the hot women the secret message you can send her on tinder that will get her to sleep with you no there's no such thing it's not going to work all that is [ __ ] people who are selling you those kinds of ideas they're fleecing you they're actually using your own pain and your own victim mentality and your laziness against you to steal your money you need to bite the bullet here and you got to attack the root of the problem everything that i teach throughout my work is always based on that it's not based on any kind of magical solution easy solution to anything it's all about attacking root problems and really fixing them which usually takes years and takes thousands of hours of work that's why my content is so niche i could have millions of more followers and i can get a lot more dates and lays from my followers if i was peddling you easy solutions i don't do that i want you to tackle solutions i mean to tackle problems at their root so what is the root here the root again is that you're not social enough and that you're not good with women and this problem will not go away it will not solve itself so drop your magical thinking stop hoping for some woman to land in your lap just by happenstance just through pure luck it's not gonna happen you have to be proactive about this you as the guy have to take responsibility for your dating life to make it as abundant as you want it to be to make it as high quality as you want it to be and the more work you put into it the more abundance and quality you're going to have so the obvious solution here is to change your life to become much much more social and then on top of that you're going to add proper understanding of attraction theory and then you're going to do approaching and other things like that which we'll be talking about so your objective here is not to get one woman your objective is to become a strong man and to become good with women in general a lot of guys sometimes they see a cute girl at work or in the social circle that they really like they have a crush on and say oh you know leo tell me he you know i know susan from work and you know she seems to be giving me good eye contact you know what do i tell her to get her to date me and then she'll become my girlfriend and then in this manner i will solve this problem for myself no this is not going to work you're not going to solve this problem in that way forget about susie she's probably already friends then you friend zoned you months ago because of the way you started off the interaction what you need to do instead is again bite the bullet and become good at socializing in general become charismatic and fun become good at flirting become strong become confident become a secure man understand what it means to be a man understand what masculinity is get in touch with your masculine energy also get in touch with your feminine energy too you're gonna need both of them to be at your strongest as a man position yourself near attractive women become more authentically yourself and not just fake learn how women think learn what attracts them learn what repels them and also learn to deal with the common obstacles that come with dating women there are many many obstacles many areas where even once she decides to date you you will screw it up you will screw it up with the way you're text messaging her you'll screw it up with your neediness you'll screw it up with the way you set up your dates you'll screw it up with the way that you use your uh you know obnoxious sexual humor and other things like that and she will give you all sorts of excuses and she'll throw you curveballs too and you got to be able to deal with those which requires experience so i recommend you really reframe how you think about this problem you're not thinking about it about how to get laid per se you're not doing this for the sex you're doing this to become a strong attractive guy and ultimately you're doing this for deep intimacy and love in the end what i teach is love what you really want with women is you want love you don't just want one night stands or a bunch of sex with a bunch of women although there's nothing wrong with that per se and that can be very helpful as part of your journey to maturing towards deep love but ultimately want what you want is deep love but to get it first you gotta build some game and you gotta understand what attracts women you also have to deal with your victim complex see your mind in this process of learning to get good with women your mind is gonna be one of your greatest enemies because your inner game is awful it's awful you have low self-esteem issues you have crippling self-doubt you don't believe you can do it you don't believe you have value you don't believe you're lovable as you are you believe you need to be somehow different you believe you got to be fake you can't be genuine and authentic you believe all these things you have all these sorts of beliefs that you got from watching in cell ideology or red pill ideology or black pill ideology about how women want this and they want that and they don't they don't want what you have or you think they need money or you think your dick is not big enough or whatever all of these limiting beliefs need to be slayed and that's a whole ordeal that i can't explain to you in this episode but we're going to tackle a little bit here we're going to tackle some of the limiting beliefs in a minute here um another problem is that you don't believe part of your inner games that you don't believe that you deserve or that it's possible for you to get hot girls you think hot girls have more value than you fundamentally you don't feel entitled to hot girls that's a problem if you don't feel entitled to a girl then you're not gonna be able to maintain that girl or probably even a tractor to begin with and also part of your uh inner game problem is that you're too scared to start taking serious action you're stuck in paralysis by analysis or you're stuck making excuses you have so many different excuses for why you can't get better with women and why you shouldn't start taking action so all of that is going to have to be fixed before you can really get great results with women all right now let's start talking about how attraction really works because you see your misunderstanding of attraction has actually warped your mind into making the attraction of women a lot harder than it really is because you think they're attracted to something that they really aren't attracted to so the problem here is that there's a deep asymmetry within how men and women are attracted to each other us men were extremely visual and really what we're attracted to is physical beauty this is just the truth it's a bit brutal but it's the truth and so uh we want the hottest most beautiful women as guys and then we tend to assume that women look at men in the same way they want the hottest hunkiest most handsomest beautiful men too but this is actually a mistake because what you have to understand is that there is an asymmetry between the masculine and the feminine and what it needs to survive so really this goes to the heart of survival so why are you mating or relating with the opposite sex at all you got to think about this and you got to think about it a bit from like the survival evolutionary perspective right like what is the man's function and what is the woman's function biology and evolution has differentiated us and has given us different functions the man's function classically speaking this is a stereotype but the man's function is classically to be the hunter the provider the defender the leader the protector of the woman and her children the woman's function is to of course give birth to the children take care of the children and to have the kind of nurturing energy that is necessary to love those children so they grow up to be healthy adults that's the fundamental division of labor that hundreds of thousands of years ago evolution has decided that we're going to have and it's rather a beautiful division of labor if you think about it but also to play these two different roles you need different strengths and but the strengths come with various weaknesses so for example what is the strength of the man what is the function of the man in in this situation the man's function is to be a good provider to be a good leader to be confident to be decisive because a leader needs to be decisive and to have a position in the tribe because the higher your position in the tribe the more status you have in the tribe the easier it is for you to survive because it's easier to survive in a collective than it is as an individual so that's what the man provides the man also provides physical strength that the woman lacks in order to raise children uh the woman provides more of like the mother the motherly qualities she's not as physically strong she can easily be dominated or raped by other men in the tribe or from outside tribes um she's not very good at warfare she's not very interested in warfare but what she's really good at is she's good at social skills she's good at being social she's good at people skills she's good at being compassionate nurturing motherly loving and she cares about raising the children taking care of the child all that stuff right she's good at that so that's the mask that's the feminine versus the masculine now what the masculine wants is that which the masculine is lacking see the masculine is not lacking in assertiveness confidence strength status therefore the masculine isn't looking for that in the woman the masculine is lacking the beauty and the femininity and that the feminine energy of the woman that's what the masculine wants that nurturing loving motherly energy because it it's lacking that men are oftentimes lacking in empathy and compassion and and love uh so they want that from the woman therefore they're looking for the most beautiful the most feminine woman now what does the woman want from the man does she need the same thing does she need beauty from the man is that what she needs the man for no for the woman's survival she doesn't need beauty from him what she needs from him is she needs leadership she needs status she needs strength she needs assertiveness she needs confidence you see this is actually great news for you men because it's a lot easier to develop leadership qualities and confidence and assertiveness and strength than it is to change your physical appearance now of course if she's presented with all of the those qualities and very handsome features you know physical features great of course she'll take it but rarely do you get everything you want in a in a potential mate usually you have to settle for things you don't get everything you don't get the perfect ten and so if she has to settle for something she's gonna she's gonna settle for those things which are highest priority which means the things she needs the most to survive she her and her offspring which is something more akin to leadership and to strength than it is towards uh you know a handsome face for example so men and women need opposite and different things from each other and it's actually worse for women because for a woman if she doesn't happen to be lucky and win the genetic lottery and be born very beautiful and attractive physically then it's it's more difficult for her because there isn't some easy solution for that to change your physical appearance and you know to turn yourself into a perfect ten whereas for the man it's easier in the sense that the man can work really hard i mean you have to put a lot of work in so in that sense it's not easy but the man can work really hard and actually develop qualities like leadership skills and confidence assertiveness and these kinds of qualities that that women find very very attractive you can do that and that's exactly why game works for men and why game doesn't work for women why do women not do pickup have you ever wondered this because it wouldn't work for them if pickup worked for women they would do pick up it doesn't work for them it doesn't get them what they need but it does work for men so you have to understand this fundamental asymmetry within attraction because if you don't understand this then your mind is not even going to allow for the possibility that you can turn yourself into an attractive man i think the biggest inner game problem that i see today is that guys who think that just like well i'm not an attractive guy and there's nothing i can do to change that because the only qualities that are attractive are my jaw shape and my muscle size and my dick size and my height and that's it that defines you know maybe my face that defines everything that is attractive about a man and that just is what it is and i can't change it and therefore i'm stuck well i got great news for you actually i got some good news and bad news the good news is that you can change that the bad news is that um i mean i don't mean they're you can change your face i mean you can you can change the fact that you're not attractive as a man you can change that you can make yourself attractive the bad news is though that it's going to be a lot more difficult than you believe and uh it's going to be emotionally painful to do that because you're attached to being the kind of loser and unattractive guy that you have been for the last 10 20 30 years your you're attached to that lifestyle and i'm telling you you have to change you're going to significantly change your lifestyle and you don't want to do that so that's the bad news but the good news is that if you bite that bullet and do it then you'll become an attractive man all right so now let's get to the list of the top limiting beliefs that guys have about attracting women of course number one on the list is that i'm not good looking enough i'm too fat i'm too ugly i'm too short i'm too bald i'm too asian i have too much acne i'm too young i'm too old i'm too hairy whatever so what i was just explaining to you is that the woman needs something from you much deeper than your physical features the woman needs masculine energy she needs strength from you she needs leadership from you and these are qualities you can develop so people get way too hung up on their physical features and i know because i when i started this whole process i was very hung up on my lack of the right physical features and in a certain sense i still have insecurities about my physical appearance i don't consider myself particularly good looking physically and so that has held me back a lot in terms of my inner game in terms of my confidence but see what you have to be careful about here is you have to ask yourself is it the fact that i'm short is that the reason why i'm not getting laid or is it that i'm short but then i feel now inferior and insecure because i'm short and therefore the reason i'm not getting laid is not because i'm short but because i'm insecure about being short and that's the real reason why i'm not getting laid ask yourself how would you know the difference between those two now a lot of guys here would say no leo it's because i'm actually physically short that's why don't be so sure about that for example i'm six foot two and you might say oh well leo you're so tall therefore of course you don't even know what it's like to be short but i've had a lot of wings i've had a lot of amazing wings almost all of my wings were shorter than me and they got way better results than me in fact one of my best wings this guy just blew me away was a short pakistani guy in dallas texas he was about five foot five very short very small guy but this guy he grew up in like a royal family he was basically part of royalty he was explaining this to me and he had this just king-like sense of entitlement literally he believed that every woman in the world who was his personal property now this is a bit this is a bit narcissistic and and over the top as an example but hey i mean this was the mindset he was raised in as royalty as part of a royal family you're just taught that you know the whole world is [ __ ] yours belongs to you so this guy had incredible confidence incredible assertiveness incredible leadership qualities and this guy was a [ __ ] beast he was a beast and he got laid way more than me and i'm a tall white guy this guy's a short brown guy this guy did crazy ballsy approaches where he would walk up to a group of girls like at a club it was their birthday like 10 girls he would just start instantly making out with the birthday girl she would [ __ ] slap him reject him he would start making out with her friend she would slap him reject him he would start making up with her next friend right like this guy just didn't give a [ __ ] and he got laid a lot because sure he got rejected a lot but then he also got a lot of success too he was a very polarizing guy because he just saw what he wanted he had no qualms no hesitations he sees a girl he likes he doesn't care if she's with guys if she's with a boyfriend she doesn't care he just goes straight to her and starts hitting on her now sometimes that gets you in trouble but then a lot of times it works and women can find that extremely attractive because that's what she's really looking for she's looking for a guy who knows what he wants and is not afraid to pursue what he wants and he's not ashamed of it at all he feels completely entitled so that's just one example for you another top limiting belief is something along the lines but leo studies and science shows that you know women prefer men with a perfectly symmetrical uh you know facial features and with a with the you know sculpted jaws and this kind of you know torso ratio and this this size of muscles you know this is all scientific and objective what you have to understand about so-called scientific studies is that these are very narrow unholistic isolated situations that are very artificial yeah if you take a couple of women and put them into a laboratory environment and you take a couple of guys you know you take a short fat guy and you take a a giant tall muscular guy and you bring them out in front of these women like hunks of meat and you give the women crushed questionnaires like which of these guys uh you know uh makes you want to go on a date and which one makes you wet and which one would you like to you know give a [ __ ] to it like you you give a questionnaire like this and she's going to sit there and logically decide these answers yes you will get your sort of scientific results that will show you that she doesn't like the short you know fat guy um but you have to understand that this is this has nothing to do with how attraction actually works in the real world if you're at a bar a club a mall at a cafe if you're within a social circle with your friends and you're flirting with a girl attraction works in a totally different manner yes if you present women with simply photographs of guys they have nothing else to go on they will choose the most handsome guy just based on on the photograph because that's all they got to go on but the beauty of face-to-face in-person interaction is that it's totally different you can exhibit charisma you can demonstrate leadership qualities you can have status you can dress in a certain way you can you can flirt you can be humorous and all of these things are very important to women and women respond to these things very well when they're done correctly and also you have to understand that when a woman is choosing a mate she's not like choosing from a million different options she's only given very few options and then she has to choose one of those let's say a girl is single and she's kind of interested in dating somebody well who is she gonna date it's not like she's gonna flip through a catalog of all the dudes on the planet and choose the hottest one she's going to like um you know maybe she's using online dating and then she'll flip through some of those or if she's not doing online dating then it's even worse for her because basically the first guy or handful of guys that approach her she's going to pick one of them and go date that guy and how many guys have the balls to approach a woman quite quite few and how many guys have the ability to do it with some skill and to really be emotional with her and build a deep connection with her and to excite her very few guys have that kind of ability right so let's say she gets hit on by five guys well she's gonna select one of those five so you have a one in five chance and if your game is good you have a way better chance than that of getting her out on a date assuming she's single all right so you have to be very careful with these sort of narrow unholistic scientific studies they don't properly capture what attraction is really like when i'm talking about attraction getting results with women we're talking about a holistic situation here real world situation where you go into a let's say a coffee shop you see a cute girl sitting there reading a book you approach her open her she's single and you you know you do a little bit of game on her bam she's interested in you she gives you a phone number then you go on a date and then you hook up and then she becomes your girlfriend right um your scientific studies do not apply in this situation uh other top limiting beliefs girls only want the alpha extroverted guy the chad the so-called [ __ ] chad the reality is that girls love all sorts of different types of guys and guys like different sorts and types of girls right so one of the mistakes that i think guys make is that they tend to want to be attractive to all women in general and this is silly you shouldn't want this at all the reality is that only maybe 10 of women that you approach and talk to will actually find you attractive either physically or given your personality or your energy or whatever or just your type or given even your race and so forth all right let's say 10 of women find you attractive anyone say oh 10 that's so low actually 10 is very high that's not low at all um and so this is actually a good thing because that means that even though you don't fit every woman that means that women have all sorts of different types of guys and that means that it's actually good for guys to be talking to lots of different girls and girls to be talking to lots of different guys because that presents more opportunities for us to find the right fit for each other you see there are women who love nerdy guys who love very intellectual guys there are women who love like edgy guys sporty guys bodybuilder guys but not necessarily there are women who like skinny lanky guys who like tall guys who like you know short um sort of like um beefy guys there's different kinds of trade-offs and so just trust that whatever type you are there are women who like the type of guy that you are and whatever race you are whatever ethnicity you are there are women who will like that but you shouldn't want even the majority of women to be attracted to you 10 is more than enough remember you're not trying to sleep with every woman in the world you're only trying to sleep with a handful of them and even better than that really what you really ultimately want is you want one really good woman that's really all you want one [ __ ] one out of like four billion women you want one or let's say you want five or let's say you want ten ten out of four billion that's doable right that's that's not something crazy that's not something impossible that's very very doable another top limiting belief is that girls want big muscles and a big dick um of course it's nice to have big muscles well first of all recognize that muscles are something actually you can grow and develop so if you really think that women want such big muscles then go go for a few years do some weight lifting put on some weight develop those muscles what you'll actually discover is that of course it doesn't hurt to have big muscles but you're not going to get laid from your big muscles that's what you'll discover you'll discover that actually learning these other deeper principles learning the principles of game for example developing your sense of humor will get you laid 10 to 100 times more i guarantee you that no matter how many muscles you build if you have a good sense of humor and that can be developed and also your leadership ability your confidence level your assertiveness this will get you laid 10 to 100 times more than your muscles so muscles are are are very much down the list of things you need to be worried about they're not even the top 10 things that women are interested in um and then about the big dick what you have to understand is that the woman has no idea the size of your dick uh until already she's deeply attracted to you so what you'll notice if you start talking to lots of women is that you'll notice them getting attracted to you it's very clear the distinction between a woman who is not attracted to you versus one who is and so usually that attraction will trigger within the first five to ten minutes of your interaction with a woman if you're interacting with her properly man to woman i'll teach you about that in part two um but um but see what you'll notice is that you'll start to notice when you go out and talk to lots of women that very attractive women will actually get attracted to you now that doesn't this doesn't necessarily convert to them sleeping with you because there's a lot of obstacles that come in the way but she'll get attracted to you and you'll notice that and you'll realize that she's getting attracted to me and she has no idea the size of my dick and so the truth is is that the only person in the world who really cares about the size of your dick is you i don't care about your dick other guys don't care about your dick and she barely cares about your dick because what she cares about is the emotions you give her not your physical characteristics so much women are very very emotional creatures it's how you make her feel and even when you're having sex with her your big dick is not really what's making her feel amazing emotions it's the bond the intimacy you build between you two not any physical manipulation you do in the bedroom that will really turn her on and make her fall in love with you the next top limiting belief is that hot girls requires you to be rich attracting hot girls requires you to be rich uh you can easily shatter this limiting belief by going out a lot talking to lots of hot girls and you will see that they get attracted to you without any knowing anything about your net worth or even your job in fact if you want you can kind of play this trick go out talk to hot girls specifically at night clubs and bars and so forth and give them a fake net worth tell them you're broke tell them you're homeless tell them you work at walmart tell them you work at mcdonald's and you will see these girls will still sleep with you and get attracted to you despite the fact that they know you're not rich in fact a funny story about this i had a friend when i first moved to vegas had a friend who was a wingman of mine we would go out and hit on girls here in vegas at the nightclubs and actually the first two girls we pulled um there were these nurses and um and my friend my friend was we were both kind of having fun you know when you're gaming you're trying to have fun and so um his thing was that he was actually a dentist and he earned six figures you know uh very sort of classically attractive you would think to a woman right so you would think that this guy would be like telling women that he's a dentist and he makes six figures and that would get girls to sleep with him right and by the way this guy was really good he had really good game better game than me he was short he was shorter than me he got laid way more than me but you know what he did he would tell when women asked him what he what he does for a living he would tell them that he works at walmart as a box boy this was like an in-joke and he but he he would he would tell it seriously such that the woman would actually think he works at walmart then after she sleeps with him um i remember because we all slept in the same bed once um er that's a story from the time uh sort of an obnoxious story yeah but we were all sleeping in the same bed once um and then uh in the morning we all woke up and and and his girl asks him like so you work at walmart and he's like [ __ ] no i'm a dentist and she's like what you're a dentist why did you tell me you worked at walmart it was so funny we were all laughing about it but basically she slept with them thinking he worked he worked as a box boy at walmart so yeah you don't need to be rich and in fact what you'll discover is that if you try to go out and talk to hot girls and you start to brag about how rich you are you'll actually discover that this this loses you attraction bragging loses attraction it doesn't gain you very much um because what women are really attracted to are emotions not logical qualities about you like your net worth now maybe some women who are actually looking for like a sugar daddy will be attracted to that but those women you don't want that kind of kind of woman anyway so it's nothing is lost another top limiting belief is that i'm too much of a nerd a geek or an introvert to become good with women i'm not naturally funny or charismatic well look this is a huge problem that i faced and what i can tell you about this is that by going out a lot you can retrain and rewire your mind from that nerdy introverted mindset to become more extroverted and to develop humor and charisma these are things you can develop and you can actually become way more funny way more charismatic and extroverted than you think than you ever imagined that you could this just takes quite a bit of practice another top limiting belief is that pickup is a scam all those videos on youtube of guys picking up girls these are all just pranks or they're just fake or the women were paid to talk to these guys and to give them their numbers or whatever let me assure you pickup is not a scam um i know many many guys dozens of guys that i've met in different cities around the country um who have amazing results have slept with beautiful gorgeous women um and and i've had results from pickup as well i'm not a dating coach or anything so one of the nice things about learning this stuff from me is that you know if you're trying to learn this from a dating coach sometimes you don't really know like is a dating coach because you know he teaches this stuff he has a financial incentive to you know sell me a boot camp or to sell me a course or something that the guy might be you know kind of bullshitting me about pickup but i'm not selling you any kind of course about pickup i don't teach boot camps i'm not dating coach or anything so just from my own personal experience it's not a scam now of course on youtube you can find many sorts of prank videos and maybe some youtubers do pay women to you know to flirt with them and to give them numbers and stuff but um you can easily find wings who you can go out with and you can see them gaming girls and you can see how good they are and you can see the reactions that girls give them and you can see them pulling girls out of the club at the end of the night so you can easily demonstrate to yourself that this is no scam and that it really works uh another common top limiting belief is that oh leo it's just all a numbers game it's all a numbers game you have to talk to hundreds and thousands of girls and of course if you do that one of them will randomly sleep with you a couple of points about this first of all it's not purely a numbers game i mean it is a numbers game yes to a certain degree but then again all dating is like that all sales is like that too by the way even making friends is like that in a certain sense like you're not gonna make friends with everybody of all the people you meet only a few of them will be your friends if you want a lot of friends then you need to meet a lot of people that's just how it works likewise if you want a lot of clients not all people you meet are going to become your clients you got to go through a lot of people to find the clients who will be your best clients well it works the same way with dating too so of course as you increase your numbers you're going to increase your results and you're going to increase the quality of people that you meet your chances of meeting a really high quality person and you know clicking with each other and having chemistry together of course numbers are important um but it's not purely a numbers game because your skill matters a lot so there's a big difference between a total noob who doesn't know how to approach versus a you know a master who can approach easily and flirt and have humor and confidence and all this that guy you know he can be hooking like 60 percent of his of the girls he talks to whereas the guy who's a total noob and clueless he could be cooking you know zero out of a hundred so skill matters a lot um but also just because it is a numbers game doesn't mean that this is a problem or a reason not to do it in fact it's actually a reason to do it the fact that it's a numbers game is great because it means that if you go out enough and you have just a bit of skill you'll still get some success 100 girls will still want to sleep with you that's good take that why don't you want to take that and then as your skill improves that number will become better and better and better you'll get a better ratio of course it's never going to reach 100 it's never even going to reach 50 percent it's never even even gonna reach five percent you're not gonna have sex with even five percent of the women you talk to that's not a problem because you're gonna be talking to a lot of women you're just gonna get very good at talking to women you can talk to 30 women in one night you don't need to sleep with all of them one of them is enough another top limiting belief is but leo i will only be able to get fat ugly girls this way no you'll be able to get uh incredibly hot girls like crazy hot girls hot girls that you you don't even understand how hot these girls can be until you've done this you can get girls as hot as you see in porn you can get models you can get actresses you can get strippers you can go get go go go dancers i've i've i mean i've attracted these kinds of girls um you can get like ridiculously hot girls of course the hotter they are the harder it'll be the rare they will be but you can still get them another top limiting belief but leo it's not fair because it's so easy for girls to get sex and it's so hard for us guys you're telling us guys we have to work for thousands of hours and for years to get laid whereas a girl can just go to a bar and just get laid any night she wants to there is some truth in that but again you're misunderstanding the situation there's a deep asymmetry between what you need as a man and what a woman needs as a woman so even though yes it is easy technically speaking for a girl to get laid if she wants to any girl basically can get laid any night she wants to just by going to a bar and just kind of being receptive but you see that's not the girl's survival need her problem is not getting laid the girl's problem is getting commitment from a quality guy there are many risks and dangers for a girl just getting laid randomly it decreases her value so um the idea that it's that somehow dating and sexuality and relationships are easy for girls but hard for guys this is nonsense there are so many challenges that girls have that you guys don't even fathom they have challenges and problems with getting raped molested abused sexually many many girls maybe even a majority of girls have had issues with sexual abuse at one point in their life um you guys can't even even imagine sometimes how horrific that can be um and they have problems finding high quality guys they have problems with guys [ __ ] them and then dumping them they have all sorts of additional risks that come with pregnancy [Music] physical danger that they put themselves in by sleeping with a stranger that they don't even know so because the guy is more physically powerful than she is can overpower her um can hit her can kill her i mean so um don't think that girls have it easy girls do not have it easy and also you tend to think of like the hottest girls yeah the hottest girls often times do have it much easier in terms of dating but you have to understand that the majority of girls are not hot girls so a lot of girls actually struggle to find quality guys because they're not the hottest girls so be careful with the bias with which you you try to like portray this and you try to like blame girls or to say that girls have it easy they don't have it easy in fact us guys in a certain sense i think have it easy because we can work on ourselves more we have more opportunity to grow ourselves as men and therefore we can increase our attract we can do more to basically improve our attractiveness and that's actually an amazing thing even though that takes work it's amazing that we have that kind of flexibility girls are not as flexible she can put on some makeup she can get fake tits she can wear high heels she can put on a great dress that will all increase her physical attractiveness but still that's not going to increase percentage-wise her physical attractiveness as much as i can increase my physical attractiveness by working really hard on my game and really developing myself as a man i can i can do way more i can increase my attractiveness like fivefold or tenfold whereas maybe she can increase her attractiveness by let's say 50 percent if she gets great hair great makeup great dress fake tits and all this she can maybe do it by 50 i can do it by 500 percent if i work on myself and so can you as a guy another objection that's related to this is like ah but but leo but other guys don't have to work this hard some guys are just naturals why do i have to work so hard whereas that guy over there that chad he's got it so easy he didn't have to work for a thousand hours look the reality is that human beings are born with different genetics some of us are more lucky than others we have different intelligences we have different personality types we have different sizes different heights different genetic diseases and things like that some of us will live much longer than other people so yeah luck you know genetic luck is involved um and some guys are just more naturally extroverted as a personality characteristic as a personality type and therefore they have it easier with women some guys just started very early with women they were in a certain social situation where they were um you know learned many of these skills naturally and they have sort of natural game but i certainly didn't i started at zero so don't let that stop you sometimes you're gonna have to work hard at something especially if it's a weakness of yours this particular aspect of of of my life is one of the most challenging things that i've ever worked on because it's like one of my greatest weaknesses my natural strengths lie in other things they lie in spirituality they lie in my intelligence they lie in my you know sense of life purpose and motivation other things i'm i'm really good in certain areas and i'm i'm weaker in other areas this is a weakness of mine and so um [Music] yeah some of you will have this as a weakness if you have it as weakness you'll have to work harder but you know what i've been blessed in other ways so i'm not sitting around here complaining about all you know woe is me and how how poor i am because uh this is a you know socializing and and being flirty or being extroverted is somehow you know a weakness of mine uh because i have other strengths to compensate for that you can't just look at one narrow facet of someone's life you know those guys who are naturally extroverted and very good with with women naturally and have have that part easy well you know those guys they have weaknesses of their own in other areas in their life for example they might have horrible careers they might have no work ethic they might have shitty motivation they might not be very spiritual they might have low consciousness they might not uh have great finances and they might really struggle in all those other areas they might have a a shitty you know emotional life they might be sex addicts or whatever drug addicts alcoholics so you have to look at the totality of a person not just one narrow thing that they're good at and that means it's okay for you to have weaknesses and it's also okay for you to have a weakness and then to work hard on it to improve it now does that mean that you're ever going to turn that weakness into your greatest strength no it's never going to become your greatest strength being social and extroverted is never going to become my greatest strength but i can work on it and i can get decent results and that's all that you need another common limiting belief is that feminists and social justice warriors have emasculated men and that's the real problem that's why i'm not getting laid is because of the feminists no that's that's not the problem that's an excuse you're just blaming some political situation for your lack of taking action and turning yourself into a strong man if you want to become a strong man no one is going to emasculate you and no one is going to hold you back more than yourself another limiting belief is ah leo but me too the metoo movement has made a you know cold approach impossible and i'm going to get cancelled for this no uh that's not what the metoo movement is about um it's possible to flirt with women and to approach women in a socially calibrated responsible ethical manner where you are not being obnoxious you're not being creepy you're not being rapey you're not forcing these women to do anything you're not lying to these women you're not trying to trick these women into whatever uh you're genuinely going to try to attract them and if they're not attracted you say thank you have a nice day and you know what when you approach a woman and you compliment her about how beautiful she is or how much you know you find her attractive and she says oh i have a boyfriend or no thanks i'm not interested and you say well okay have a nice day you know how good you make her feel by hitting on her in a socially calibrated way not in a creepy way but in a calibrated way you know you hit on her that makes her day that makes her feel good sometimes women will just say thank you for you know thank you for talking to me because i was bored or because i'm single or because today i wasn't feeling very good about myself you know even a lot of beautiful women are very insecure so when you come up to her and say oh you know i loved your dress and i love your style and i think you're cute even if she doesn't sleep with you for whatever reasons um she's still gonna be very flattered by that you've made her day you didn't hurt her by doing this of course you have to do it in a socially calibrated way that's something you're going to learn another top limiting belief is that girls are [ __ ] liars cheaters and gold diggers it's this sort of very um toxic stereotype of what women are and in a sense i feel like guys stereotype women this way they portray women this way because they're actually envious and jealous that they can't get women and so therefore they have to demonize women this is very very twisted and wrong actually what i've discovered by talking to thousands of women is that the majority of women are not [ __ ] they're not liars they're not cheaters they're not gold diggers it's the opposite of that most women actually are careful about who they have sex with they don't just have sex indiscriminately uh most women are fairly honest when you talk to them um most women will not cheat on their boyfriends you know how many women i've talked to who had boyfriends and i tried to like push it a little bit just to see how far they'll go and usually it doesn't go very far be precisely because they're not cheaters and most women are not gold diggers in the sense that you know sometimes i will try to like dangle a little bit of like uh how wealthy i am or something like that or the fact that i own a house or the fact that i run my own business you know i try to dangle these things in front of women just to see you know how much they bite and a lot of times they just ignore it it doesn't really help me to get laid so you can test this stuff out for yourself and you'll you'll see that actually most girls are pretty sweet they're pretty honest they're pretty loyal too [Music] another top limiting belief is that there are too few good girls out there it's just they're too rare you know leo i had my one dream girl and then she rejected me and now i'll never find one like that again you only believe that because go back to that number that you wrote about how many new women you meet every every month that number is so low that's why you think there's too few good girls if you go out and you meet hundreds of new attractive women every month you'll realize that there's so many amazing girls out there there there's like the abundance is actually crazy there's a crazy abundance of of girls out there you just need to go out there and start meeting them another common limiting belief is something like leo but i've tried to pick up and i failed it doesn't work for me i've proven it doesn't work guys who say this usually say it because what they've done if they've done 10 approaches they've done 50 approaches they've done 100 approaches and they didn't get any sex from it and therefore they think they failed what these guys fail to understand is that you need way more than 100 approaches usually to get your first lay from cold approach and that's because the learning curve is so ridiculously steep it took me 450 approaches somewhere around there to get my first lay from cold approach now you might look at that you may say oh my god leo that that's ridiculous that's crazy you mean i have to approach 450 every time to get just one lay no what i mean is that was the that was the very beginning of the steep learning curve your skills will become exponentially better as you do more approaches and so while your first one might take you 450 uh the second one will come faster and the third one will come even faster and the fourth one will even faster and faster and faster and faster and starts to snowball and it gets exponential and then you can actually be having so much sex that you're gonna get tired from the sex it's gonna be too much sex you're gonna have too many girlfriends so um you just have to understand that that's what it means to have a very steep learning curve in some sort of thing that you're trying to master so if you've tried it and you failed that means you probably don't didn't do it correctly you didn't understand something you misunderstood something you were doing it in the wrong locations the wrong city the wrong place you're going about it the wrong way and that explains why you failed for you guys i recommend giving it a second shot but taking it much more seriously and being much more persistent about it uh the next um common limiting belief is that there's no place to meet girls in my area well the solution is to move to an area where there are girls it's a little bit of a pain in the ass to move but it's worth it and you can move and i've done that i moved from dallas to vegas precisely because i wasn't satisfied with the quantity and quality of girls in vegas in dallas compared to vegas and you can move and the final limiting belief is it's too late to start what i would say about this is that it depends upon your age if you're 50 years old i would say yeah cold approach is not for you you should probably at age 50 you should probably start thinking about social circle in other ways some of those other methods of finding girls but um but if you're in your 20s 30s and maybe even early 40s then i think it's not too late to start especially in your 20s and 30s you're going to be totally fine so don't worry about that if you're above age 40 it gets a little bit more challenging um so there you might have to think about you know what's kind of realistic for you because when you're going to bars and clubs you're going to be hanging out with girls who are in their 20s and 30s you're not going to be seeing a lot of girls there who are going to be in their 40s or 50s um and so you do have to con you know take that into consideration so what really holds you back the most is your bad inner game more so than your looks you are negative you're depressed you're resentful you're envious you're whiny you're arrogant you're close-minded you're overly rational you're lazy and you misunderstand what women need that's what mostly holds you back not your looks now let's talk about what women are attracted to so this is something you can know definitively this is 100 known and field tested guys have figured out exactly what women are attracted to so here's the list and basically all women are attracted to the same thing don't let women fool you that like oh but i'm a special girl and i'm only attracted to this thing and not to that thing i'm i'm different i'm not attracted to what all the other women are attracted to [ __ ] all women in all cultures are basically attracted the same stuff it's very fundamental women are attracted to masculine energy first and foremost strength confidence charisma charm humor cocky funny wit they're attracted to fun adventure and romance they're attracted to highly social guys they're attracted to playfulness and to positivity and to emotional stimulation to drama even for a woman it's not so much about experiencing just positive emotions actually it's experiencing a wide range of emotions and the delta between the emotions so the way you attract a woman is take her through an emotional rollercoaster where she feels the the lows and the highs the ups and the downs this is what attracts women women are attracted to strong personality and passion if you're passionate about something and you can communicate to her with charisma she will also become excited by it she's attracted to a guy who was able to express himself in an unpremeditated way spontaneously and exhibits a strong personality authentically regardless of what that personality is you can have a nerdy personality uh introverted personality or an extroverted personality um you can have a wide variety of interests you can be very high energy or you can be very low energy and there will be girls who will get attracted to all of that but what they fundamentally want is for you to express your personality clearly and strongly assertively without being ashamed of it and without holding back and that's a lot of what learning game is about is about finding your authentic personality and then being able to project it without any hesitation because mostly in our lives when we were younger society has sort of taught us to hold back our true personality and not to express it with emotion you're not allowed to do that at work you're not supposed to do that at school you're supposed to sort of fit in and you're supposed to just be kind of like square and normal and just kind of vanilla well women don't want vanilla they don't want the boring guy they want a guy who will like express his his sort of masculine persona and penetrate her spirit with his spirit if you want to put it in a sort of a poetic way they're very attracted to leadership into decisiveness and you can develop those qualities they're very attracted to authenticity vulnerability and deep intimacy so it's not just about spiking her emotions and being funny and charismatic it's also about doing some of that to get her attention and then it's about it's about building a deep rapport with her sharing your life stories finding out about her deeply learning about her and building a bond between you two women are deeply attracted to balls edginess and boldness women are deeply attracted to high value status reputation and celebrity and social approval so if you have a lot of friends with you and you have a lot of women around you who hold you in high regard that woman that you want to attract she will become automatically more attracted to you just of because of all the other social validation that you have around you because she sees you as the center of your social circle or as somebody who's important within society and that just automatically means you're a high value guy and that she should sleep with you now don't get this wrong she's not sitting there and calculating this in her mind she's like oh she's not doing this she's not saying like oh well this guy has a lot of friends and he seems to be very high status and therefore he has a lot of value and therefore i should sleep with him no no no it doesn't work like that it's all subconscious and it's all automatic she's just gonna naturally find you charming and handsome and and and amazing she's not even gonna know why but the reason it will be is because you are a high status guy and you have a lot of social validation around you and she's just naturally going to gravitate towards that and find that juicy and appealing women are very attracted to strong eye contact eye contact is huge we'll talk about that in part two they're attracted to guys who are detached and have a sense of life purpose where the life purpose for the guy is more important than the girl as soon as the girl becomes more important than your guy your your life purpose as a guy she's going to start to lose attraction for you and women are attracted to guys who are well groomed sharply dressed clean and fit and smell nice and all of these you can work on you can control all these factors now what repels women the number one thing that repels women is neediness desperation and attachment to her when you put her on a pedestal as you're precious the most precious and important thing in your life when you start supplicating to her and treating her as a queen she will immediately lose attraction for you another thing that repels women is being too nice that's part of what i was just talking about really it's sort of a sub component of that another thing that repels women is fear insecurity meekness shyness and lack of balls in a man if you are insecure as a man this this is killing your results with women another thing that repels women is when guys are explicitly sexually vulgar and give sexual compliments so if you just met a woman and you start talking about how you want to have sex with her explicitly this is going to immediately turn her off she's going to blow you out within seconds you're going to turn her off by doing that and related to that point is that women are repelled by being desired only for sex or if you make her feel or look [ __ ] if you're talking to a girl and she gets the feeling that you're only interested in her for the sex or you make her feel [ __ ] by going home with you then she won't go home with you and she'll lose attraction for you very fast another thing that repels women is trying to impress women trying to be macho or cool trying to put on a fake front of like you're stronger than you really are you're much much better off admitting a weakness than you are trying to fake a strength another thing that repels women is fakeness or being too gamey trying to game her too much it looks unnatural and this is where some of the stigma and bad stereotypes about pickup come from is that early pickup was very very gamey and fake and that reputation is sort of stuck around but um there are different kinds of pickup there's different qualities of pickup so the very early like mystery method stuff was very gamey and sort of artificial but sort of modern versions of pickup have overcome many of those limitations another thing that repels women is bragging about yourself never brag about yourself to a woman this is in fact you should do the opposite usually what i would do is to do self-deprecation you know tell a woman you're homeless um tell a woman you have no job tell a woman you have no money tell a woman you suck your own dick you know whatever you know tell her stupid things about yourself that actually sort of disqualify you disqualify yourself rather than qualify yourself another thing that repels women is boring logical talk or serious guys this is huge women want to relate with you romantically in an emotional way not in a logical way so don't be business business-like with women you're trying to date another thing that repels women is forcing her to lead when you ask her oh where should we go where should we eat you make the plans when you tell her that that is a huge turn off you lead you make the plans you tell her where you're going you set up the date you do that stuff you handle the logistics that's part of you being a leader don't make her lead another thing that turns off women is being ungroomed having bad hygiene sloppy dress and no style so make sure you trim your beard trim your body hair brush your teeth wash yourself shower uh put on some cologne dress nice and sharp and have a sense of style this will this will do a lot for you and uh just in general one of the biggest things that turns off women is creepiness creepiness and women will tell you this if you're creeping on them and they feel creeped out they will tell you that you're creepy and you'll see it it immediately it immediately turns them off so a huge part of game actually is learning how to be very smooth and non-creepy when it comes to stuff like sex and physical touch and you learn how to do that very smoothly to make her feel comfortable and not awkward women hate being put in position where they feel awkward so a lot of game is just learning how to be socially calibrated so she doesn't feel awkward because her friends are there they're looking at this like she doesn't want to be put in a position where you're asking her to to come home with you and all her friends are looking at her now you made her look like a [ __ ] if she says yes to come home with you even if she wants to she looks like a [ __ ] in front of all her friends this makes her feel very awkward or if you're touching her in a creepy way this makes her feel very awkward and will immediately blow you out now you might be saying well leo sure it's easy for you to sit up here and talk about how you know how you've done all these approaches it sounds like it's easy for you you're very successful you're famous you're a youtuber you're tall you're white you're fit you're charismatic and so for you it's easy but i'm not like that leo i'm not i'm not as successful as you i'm not as famous as you i'm not some youtuber i'm not tall i'm not white i'm not fit i'm not charismatic so how am i going to make this work well look what you have to understand is that i used to be fat i was fat for the first half of my life i was 65 pounds overweight if you're fat you can change that but also even if you're fat women will still have sex with you as long as you have good game so don't let that stop you but fat is something you can change now about me being famous i already told you that it's even with my level of fame it's very difficult for me to get laid just from my fame alone uh because i'm not i'm not as famous as you think but also have to understand that when i was learning game the majority of my approaches i did when i wasn't famous at all i didn't have a youtube channel i did two to three thousand approaches before i even started a youtube channel nobody knew who i was i was a nobody and most of my wings there they were nobodies nobody knows who they are they can still get laid hundreds of times you don't need to be famous for this to work in fact you might be shocked at how little fame helps you um you would think it would help you more i'm surprised i don't get laid more from my fame i mean i wish i wish it worked better it doesn't work that well um i also used to not be very successful again you're kind of looking at it now that i'm a successful youtuber like oh leo but again when i started game i didn't have youtube success i wasn't very rich so and and most of my wings who get great results way better results than me they're way less successful than me i'm probably the most successful person of many of the wings that i've hung out with just if you look at just pure you know business success and money and stuff like that um but they get way more results than i do so it's not the success also i'm not classically good-looking i don't get good results for example on online game where good looks are very important so i don't have that going for me i used to have social anxiety i used to be very very like ridiculously introverted like i can't tell you how introvert i was i used to be so introverted that i would even be scared to have a conversation with like a a cashier at the grocery store or when i used to go to to the to get a haircut you know and i was sitting there getting a haircut i wouldn't even know what to say to the to the lady cutting my hair i was so scared and so socially awkward and shy that's how i used to be see now you see me when i'm talking about spiritual topics that i'm very passionate about i can be extremely charismatic it seems like i'm so charismatic here right but you have to understand that this is me in a very narrow context when i'm in my you know talking about something i'm very passionate about i'm not this charismatic usually if i'm just going about my day or even if i'm talking to a girl i'm usually not this charismatic it takes a while it ha i have to train myself to be this charismatic if i'm talking to a girl because with a girl i'm not talking about deep topics like if i'm at the club and i'm hitting on a girl i'm not talking with her about enlightenment and god and love and all this [ __ ] she doesn't know any of this stuff right what am i talking about i'm talking about small talk [ __ ] we're just talking [ __ ] and it's hard for me sometimes to to be interested in that i had to force myself to be interested in that um and so and that charisma and also have to understand that this charisma that i exhibit here with you this is part of what i learned from years ago by doing game it taught me to be a better public speaker it taught me to have a deeper voice it taught me to be more expressive it taught me range in my tonality it taught me even confidence in the things that i say so a lot of times i'm talking about a topic in a very confident way and sometimes people perceive that as i'm being narcissistic or i'm being arrogant or i'm even being closed-minded or i'm being like a cult leader it is partly it is it partly what that is is just i learned through game that when i'm talking to somebody the most effective way to do that and to be charismatic is to be definitive about what i'm saying not to be wishy-washy and i used to be very logical hypological and i still am very logical some nights when i go out to a club i'm so stuck in my head because i'm so logical because i spent the whole day thinking about [ __ ] god or about consciousness or about you know some metaphysical [ __ ] that when i'm at the club now i don't feel like just having fun it takes a while for me to like let loose sometimes so my point being is that i had to do a lot of work to get to the point where i'm at so don't just think that i was born this way right what you see here you don't know how much work i went through to get to where i am right here so that you see me being all charismatic and and smiley and fun like i literally had to teach myself how to smile on command because i needed to for game see like i can do a genuine smile like i can just go from zero to just like a genuine smile where like i'm i'm genuinely happy not because i'm doing it like a that would be like a fake smile is like this see that that's a fake smile or i can do like a genuine smile when i need to because if i'm approaching a girl i need to do a genuine smile like on command like like actually make myself happy from the inside that's part of what game teaches you so here's the ultimate solution for you getting laid five steps step number one envision yourself attracting cute girls step number two study the principles of attraction you need the theoretical foundation step number three go out and socialize every week if you don't do this nothing else works now you might say leo i don't know where to go it doesn't matter find a place research it but leo i don't know what to say it doesn't matter say whatever comes to your mind you'll get better as you keep going but leo i don't have the skills it doesn't matter i had zero skills just go and start practicing and you'll start learning the skills this is going to take a lot of trial and error number four work on your victim complex and all of your limiting beliefs you have to question them and question them and question them until they're all destroyed some of this work you can do just by yourself sitting at home questioning beliefs but a big component of questioning your limiting beliefs and breaking down your victim mindset is actually going out talking to girls and as you're talking to girls you will get contradictory evidence to your limiting beliefs for example you might believe that no hot girl will ever get attracted to me but if you go out and you start talking to a bunch of girls one hot girl at least will get attracted to you and then that will be counter evidence to your limiting belief or you might believe that girls require you to have a fast car and lots of money and muscles and then you go out and you discover that hey i get plenty of girls who get attracted to me even though i don't have muscles even though i don't have a fast car i don't have a lot of money that means my belief was wrong and step number five is be tenacious and do not quit keep going until you get the results you want here's what you'll discover if you do this that your looks don't matter nearly as much as you think they do they matter to some extent but not as much as you think and you can still get decent results uh you'll also discover that money doesn't matter at all what you'll discover is that if you chat with 30 new girls every week for one year you're almost guaranteed to get a girlfriend from doing that so 30 new girls every week times 52 weeks that's 1 500 girls at least a few of those will sleep with you and at least a few of those will want to become your girlfriends as i said it took me 450 or so approaches to get my first girl you might say well that's a lot of work and i don't like that number that doesn't sound like a good number leo you were so bad at game actually no um some of the best coaches that i know who have done like 10 000 or 20 000 approaches and who just get amazing results these days when they first got into game it also took them about 400 approaches to get their first girl so it's not because i was particularly bad it's just this the learning curve is incredibly steep and remember uh it's not always going to stay steep eventually you'll you'll break the back of the of the learning curve and then on the on the second half of it you're going to get lots of results for relatively little effort but the first step in doing all this is believing that you can do it if you don't believe you can do this if you're not 110 percent motivated and excited to go out there and start trying this it's never going to work for you this takes serious motivation you have to have like a crazy belief in yourself because at the beginning you're not going to be getting great results and if you think you can talk to 10 or 20 girls and one of them will sleep with you you're fooling yourself the first 10 or 20 girls that you talk to they're not going to sleep with you in fact they're probably going to be horrible cringy interactions very socially awkward but from that you will learn although you know funny story funny story is that when i got into pickup back in like 2012 um my brother also struggled in this department and he also kind of got interested in it a little bit not as much as i did but he went out and you know i i basically shared some of the insights that i had and some of like the courses that i was taking with him he listened to like one audio product that i had back then that i bought he listened to it it was like a day game approach course he listened to it he went out to like the local barnes nobles where they have a little cafe area just to you know practice and approach he did his first approach talked to one girl sitting at a coffee table and she became his girlfriend first approach right so of course of course you can get lucky even on your first approach you can get lucky but i wouldn't count on that see and because because really what determines your success in game is is your your tenacity and your persistence i don't even want you to get success on your first 100 approaches because if you do you're going to get sort of a bad lazy mindset you're going to expect that you should get more results for you know too little effort you got to be really willing to work on this so here's what i would like you to do if you're serious about this if you really want to change this aspect of your life and you want to get good with girls you need to make the following commitment i commit to chatting with 30 new girls every week all right say this with me make this commitment right now if you're serious i commit to chatting with 30 new girls every week and you count them everyone you talk to you count them now where do you find 30 new girls to talk to you don't know yet and it doesn't really matter you'll figure that out you'll go to cafes you'll go to malls you'll go to bars you'll go to nightclubs figure out where you can find 30 new girls every week and if you can't find them in your city because you live in a town with a thousand people in it then you say to yourself okay part of what it means for my to honor my commitment for chatting with 30 new girls every week is that i'm moving cities to a city where this is actually possible you see also i want you to commit to going out of your house three times per week at least three times a week three nights a week you go out to a bar or club and you socialize and when i talk about socialize it's not necessarily that you need to need to like flirt with girls just learn to socialize just socialization alone will solve a giant chunk of your problem see your problem is deeper than not having game for many of you guys your problem is simply a lack of socialization it's not that you can't socialize with girls you don't even know how to socialize with guys go to a bar or a club forget about the girls to begin with just befriend some guys talk about sports talk about video games talk about whatever guy stuff you want to talk about cars or whatever joe rogan or some [ __ ] talk about that have fun enjoy yourself if you can't do that then how can you how can you talk to girls and then i want you to commit make a commitment to yourself that you're going to find your dream girl through this process that's all ultimately what you're after is your your dream girl whatever that is for you now i want to issue some final um warnings about how to do this sort of like the ethics the ethics of this process i want you to be very careful about toxic ideology stop demonizing women stop demonizing feminism stop listening immediately to red pill black pill and incel ideology and youtube channels and stop reading subreddits and forums that's the most toxic and destructive thing you could ever do to yourself when it comes to getting better with women you cannot have a healthy relationship with anything you demonize resent or hate stop hanging out on online forums on reddit on 4chan on youtube stop playing video games stop looking at social media stop binge watching tv and netflix this [ __ ] is killing you you've been playing video games your whole life it's time to grow up and set that aside forget about video games for the next few years you don't need them channel all that time and energy into learning game and talking to girls and being social and get out of your [ __ ] house you're spending way too much time in your house get out to where people are face to face will grow you by itself now you might say oh but leo i thought you were against pickup didn't you release a video some years ago where you ranted against the pickup community yes i did and i still stand by the things i said in that video but that video was nuanced if you go back and watch it what i said in that video is that i have a problem with the pickup community and some of the ideology that is common within pickup that i find to be toxic what i also said in that episode is that there's nothing wrong fundamentally with socializing approaching girls flirting with girls dating or with sex so here's what i'm against just to be clear i'm against the following aspects of the pickup community aspects that have to do with building an ego or an identity around being a pua and various forms of selfishness that come with that and narcissism that comes with that and egotism that comes with that i'm against creating an ideology of chasing women or some sort of pickup ideology i'm against manipulating lying and cheating with women these need to be minimized as much as possible i'm against burning through women and causing a lot of collateral damage which a lot of pwas do in a selfish narcissistic way to try to just increase their lay counts i'm against counting your lay counts and trying to maximize your lay counts as though this will somehow fulfill you in life at all it won't i'm against blaming women and blaming feminism i'm against demonizing women as [ __ ] and [ __ ] and cheaters and gold diggers i'm against abusing women and treating women poorly which many puas will do i'm against turning sex into a lifestyle and sort of a form of hedonism where you are chasing after more and more new women thinking that somehow this will fulfill you it won't i'm against avoiding relationships and intimacy which a lot of puas do and i think that's very immature and dysfunctional i'm against getting stuck in spiral dynamic stage orange or even red which many puas do i'm against sociopathy and narcissism and i'm against a lack of ethics and empathy when it comes to dating you need to have ethical standards you need to have integrity in how you go about this and so one of my biggest critiques of the pickup community is that there was almost zero emphasis on ethics empathy compassion love consciousness there was just an emphasis on getting latest as much as possible and doing whatever it takes to do that so i think ethics are very important and i'll talk more about that in part two i'll talk more about some of the uh ethics and principles you need to set for yourself as you go about interacting with women because there is potential to cause collateral damage here and you want to minimize that but at the same time it's also possible to approach women in an ethical way which doesn't really take anything away from them you're not going to trick them you're not going to lie to them you're going to be as honest and authentic as possible with them and you're going to take the burden off of the woman and put it on yourself in the sense that you're not trying to trick the woman into liking you you're trying to change yourself into a person that is generally more likable and not just for women but even for men even for your friends even for your family even to your clients and co-workers for everybody become a better guy and combine that with personal development and spiritual development and with your life purpose and your passion and your love for life and with consciousness and now this creates what i would say is like the ideal situation the ideal guy that a girl would be thrilled to meet and to date and ultimately to turn into a boyfriend and a husband potentially all right that covers the foundation here now stay tuned for part two where we will talk about the outer game which will have all the mechanics the principles the techniques the tricks all the very practical stuff there will probably need to be a part three as well to this series i don't yet know how many parts there will be because there's a lot of material to cover it takes longer than i anticipated even this episode is two and a half hours and i feel like we're just getting started there's so much to say and maybe even in the future i will do a whole course on this because even after these few episodes there will still be so much more that i could teach you that i just don't have time to to fit in all the details um and the reason there are so many details is actually because i'm speaking from like a deep base of experience i've practiced this stuff a lot and so i have a very nuanced understanding of like everything you need to know to be successful in this and all the ways you're going to [ __ ] this up and that you're going to fail in this process the final thing i want to leave you with is just be careful not to underestimate the importance of inner game inner game is hugely hugely important and the more advanced you become the more experienced you become the more reliant on inner game you will become as opposed to outer game for a newbie outer game seems to be like the trick that will get him laid but actually as an advanced practitioner of this you realize it's the inner game that's really foundational to getting you laid and this ties in with the deeper theme that i always talk about with actualize.org is basically how your mind is constructing reality people who are stuck in red pill black pill in cell ideologies and to a certain extent even in pickup ideology they don't appreciate the extent to which the mind is constructing reality because usually these people are stuck in sprawl dynamic stage orange this sort of materialistic very materialistic mindset and they think that reality is this scientific logical objective material thing it isn't reality remember is a universal mind and therefore the beliefs you hold about yourself and about women and about sex and about dating these all play a crucial role in your ability to have healthy relationships with women a healthy dating life a healthy sex life and so you gotta you gotta go very deep on the inner game on your limiting beliefs and really take a look at maybe what's holding you back from getting the kind of results you want here is not the women and it's not feminism and it's not your physical appearance but what it is is it's it's a really bad inner conditioning of your mind because of how you were raised that can be difficult to accept especially if you're a very materialistic person you tend to think that all the all the real problems in the world are out there they're not in here they're like leo how could my inner game cause me to not get laid you might wonder well the only way you can really discover that is by going through this process but for now just trust me on it i guarantee you that your inner game is is is preventing you from getting laid and getting the kind of results that you want um but at the beginning you don't quite see how that could be the case well if you studied some of my other work where i talk about how the mind constructs reality as you become more conscious as you become more developed you realize more and more how much your mind is constructing your reality that reality is not really material it's a mental system we're dealing with a universal mind here and this universal mind whatever it tends to imagine tends to become its reality i teach that in other episodes that's some deep stuff um but i'm trying to sort of draw a connection between that and something very practical here with with learning game uh one of the things that game will teach you very poignantly is is just how much you were holding yourself back how much your mind was holding you back from getting the kind of material results that you want with women and with relationships and with love and it'll completely shatter your your paradigm because you thought that all those problems existed out there in the world and then you're going to come to realize after doing lots of approaches and lots of game you're going to realize holy [ __ ] almost all of that was my own internal [ __ ] my own internal filters and the way i look at the world my own paradigms and all the you know [ __ ] programming and ideologies that i've absorbed in my life um that's what was really holding me back and if only i had if only i had cleared that stuff up earlier i could have been getting laid for the last decade think of all the opportunities that i missed getting laid because i had all these limiting beliefs all of this self-doubt all this insecurity all all this stuff and so um [Music] pickup is actually a great way to demonstrate to yourself how much your own mind limits you and of course that's not just true within pickup that's true all across the board in every domain of your life but with pickup it'll it'll really force you to to see that to look it in the face and then you can say well holy [ __ ] if if this is happening with with my dating situation where else is this happening is this happening in my business oh probably it is and is this happening in my spiritual pursuits oh probably it is is this happening with my finances is this happening with my you know depression and my emotional life probably it is and so ultimately what i hope is that you're going to use this series that i have for you here to start to get your dating situation handled and then once you get that handled and you're not so thirsty anymore then you can say ah okay leo now i'm ready i can i see what you've been pointing to now that i got that need met i've burned through that karma now i'm ready to move on to greater things what else can you teach me and then i got a lot of stuff to teach you come back and look at all my other you know deep metaphysical epistemic stuff and then we'll take you to to whole new levels of development that's what i'm really excited about you